I was "today years old" when I learned that I decide my own boundaries. Jaw drop.
This might be something already familiar to many of you, but to me, for the past month or so, I have been growing personally within myself. It's like God is revealing some serious stuff to me and I (insert claps) am (more claps) here (clap) for (one more clap) it! 👏 Not quite sure how to add brown skin claps on Blogger, so clearly, that's another post. LOL
Anywho, this whole growth thing is freeing! Today marked the first of a five-day conference, of which I am too thrilled to have been given the opportunity to share (present) again. I'm a techie by nature, which is so different for so many; but basically, I get to use cool apps for teaching and I try to sike out my students and colleagues to love ALL the tech tools like me.
This morning, I opened the conference schedule, which is beautimus! (No typo.) It is so neat and colorful with tons of links and access points for presenters and attendees. I pulled out my tablet to a fresh page and began mapping out which sessions I would check out all week:
Beginner French (for teachers) at 8 a.m., debrief right after for 30 minutes. Zumba at 10 something for 45 minutes. Break, although "lunch and learn"-type meetings were open. Workshop number one at 12:30 p.m. Workshop number two at 2 p.m. Facebook posts. Padlet. All the social media sites. Happy Hour/ Meet and Greet with attendees and presenters at 6 p.m.
Do you get it? Do you understand how I felt, why I felt that way? Does it seem like too much to you? What would you have done? I kind of mapped out my schedule, but I literally spent a good hour reading bios to determine which sessions I would choose over the other, and I felt myself getting anxious again when I couldn't pick just one. My chest started hurting - seriously. I stared at my computer screen and then I decided to take a walk. Figured I had time to clear my mind before Workshop #1. And here's the kicker: all of the sessions were being recorded and I'd have an entire six months to watch the ALL at my own leisure! So why was I freaking out?
Then, 12:30 p.m. came. I left my screen tabs open but I couldn't find the link into the Workshop #1 session! I searched Facebook, attempted to re-log back in on the web site, personal messaged a few people, but it was a hopeless attempt. By the time help came my way, about 20 minutes into the session, I was frazzled and kind of aggravated at my own self that I'd missed the intro and probably some great information. Then, my phone rang and a good friend called. I shared how I'd just logged in and was getting situated into Day 1 of the first workshop and he listened intently. And then I said, "... but I'm not even really paying attention." And that's when I realized it: I create my own boundaries, and I also get to determine how I feel and how I got that way. Being anxious and overwhelmed and frazzled and upset was NOT how I wanted to feel today or any day; and to change that narrative I had to make a decision, a choice to leave the meeting. There weren't really many options to weigh but in the moment it can be paralyzing. Sometimes the simplest of choices for one seem like life or death for others.
With my friend patiently on standby, I clicked the red "Leave" button and exited the online meeting. I let out a deep breath of relief. That's it. He said he was proud of me, and I felt proud of myself too. "Do what is best for your mental well-being!" wrote one of my Twitter friends. "'No,' when used properly, is as beautiful as it is powerful! Good for you!" another Twitter peep posted.
Lesson learned: You don't have to be everywhere or in all of the things all of the time.
Can you relate? Are you a #conferencejunkie but secretly get worked up? Enneagram three living.
Drop me a line below and let me know how you're creating your own self-control boundaries.
#notjustaclassroomblog #enneagram3 #selfcontrol #boundaries #IamOK #IcansayNO
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